SUPA NEW CHARACTA: BRUCE U

THE BEST OF DA BEST! BRUCE U BRINGS SUPA ACTION!

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They were on a mission, to find out who killed Captain Alex. He was the best of da best, he was the Ugandan Bruce Lee. He was Bruce U. Bruce U never found out who killed Captain Alex and his job was made much harder when they placed Uganda under Martial Law, now with his job harder he will never find out the truth to the mystery… or so he thought. He heard not only of a clue but a place where he can finally find an opponent worthy, the Waifu War!

Now he travels to the next fight. Hoping to not only find a clue but revenge.

NEW CHARACTER: CHARLES XII OF SWEDEN

CHARLES XII REIGNS SUPREME!

Charles was once the King of Sweden, he was a skilled military leader as well as a tactician. However, misfortune would soon hit him as he died a virgin. An arrow struck him in the head and he was killed instantly… or so I would seem. When Charles awoke he wasn’t quite sure where he was, where he was he saw the stars and the gates to an arena. He saw right in front him a human figure, slender but at the same time wide, tall but somehow short. It introduced itself as the “Entity”. The Entity helped him up, Charles at first didn’t know what to make of it but deep down knew he could trust it. The Entity told him that he was selected from his universe to participate in the war. Charles did not know how to take this information and demanded a way back home. The Entity then showed him what would happen if he didn’t participate. Charles looked upon the 3rd world Dystopia only known as Sweden. Charles gasped in fear, he had to stop this horrible future from happening! Charles did not know what he was getting himself into but it did not matter, he knew what a good king should do.

He had to save his country.

NEW CHARACTER: GOD-EMPEROR OF MANKIND

THE EMPEROR STEPS FROM HIS THRONE!

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What the Emperor wills, the Imperium enacts. This sacred doctrine cannot be maintained nowadays, however, due to his… current state. Thus, this task is now left to the High Lords of Terra. And the physical body of the God-Emperor of Mankind sits upon the Golden Throne, his last surviving cells providing the Imperium of Man with his still vast, infinite power and wisdom. Until he receives a message – from the far past, when man was still looking towards the stars from Holy Terra, sent by a simple man. In the still grim, dark past of 2020, there is only Waifu War – and his people are yearning for their Messiah to participate. Thus, a response was sent out from his decaying form, to his avatar of the past, ordering himself to temporarily come out of hiding and aid mankind once more.

NEW CHARACTER: SOULJA BOY

SOULJA BOY CRANKS THAT SOULJA BOY!

YOUUUUUUU! Soulja Boy, he tells ya… He ain’t got nearly enough money for the SouljaGame lawsuit. (YOUUUUUUU!) How in the hell was he supposed to know that them Nintendo Ninja niggas were this strong? Now he gotta beat them in the game of the court of law. And something tells him that punching, then cranking back three times from left to right isn’t gonna cut it. Them racist judges… But there’s a hope spot – an e-mail invitation to a “Waifu War”. The prize money? Allegedly, it’s 1.000.000.000.000.000 Coins! He gonna win that money and push back again these Nintendo Ninjas? He’s so fresh you can suck his nuts (swag)!

NEW CHARACTER: J. JONAH JAMESON

J. Jonah Jameson Brings The News To Ya!

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~~J. Johah Jameson was the master of the Daily Bu~~

You know what? That ain’t cutting it. I’m throwing that “Ghostly-gumpy” guy right outta here. He ain’t in the building anymore, I made sure of that – sent him out with his bags! Now I’m getting my intern to write everything I say! Yes, this, that and even this! But you don’t care to know about my intern, you care about me! Of course you do – who doesn’t know about the Daily Bugle! It’s the best god damn newspaper in New York! Well, used to at least, now all the kids are on their “iPhones” and “Androids” looking at that fake news stuff without looking at the real news! That’s right – that menace Spider-Man! People online keep saying he’s a hero. Well I got news for you, HE AIN’T! SPIDER-MAN IS A CRIMINAL! THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW RIGHT NOW! AND HOW ARE THEY GOING TO FIND OUT ABOUT THAT? WELL, I’M GONNA JOIN THE WAIFU WAR, I DON’T KNOW WHAT A WAIFU IS NOR DO I CARE ABOUT IT. WHEN I WIN THAT WAR I WILL MAKE SURE THE PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT SPIDER-MAN AND OTHER CRAZED MEN WHO WEAR MASKS!

Was that a good speech? Okay good. Where is my medication. I SAID WHERE IS MY MEDICATION! You’re not still writing this down, are you?

NEW CHARACTER: SAVAB

SAVAB EXTERMINATES THE COMPETITION!

After being caught out by the leader of the Purple Republic for lynching black people, Savab was forced to go into hiding for over a year. He never meant to lynch the black penguins, it was only an accident. When Savab went into hiding he was forced to eat berries and shit, so not all much different from the diet he was on before. Savab was munching on some roadkill he found until he heard of a multiverse competition run by the Purple Republic. Reluctant at first he then realised this could clear his name from any sort of racist remake, making him invincible to racism. Savab headed towards the Waifu War with his hand in the air before being accused of racism yet again.

NEW CHARACTERS: SNEED & CHUCK

SNEED FEEDS AND SEEDS OFF THE COMPETITION!

(formerly Chuck)

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Sneed and Chuck enjoyed their quiet, rural life running their store of Sneed’s Feed & Seed (formerly Chuck’s) when one day a city slicker dropped by and asked them to compete in some strange competition! Now, both of them normally think nothing of those fancy city slickers pulling up with their fancy German cars, wearing their Gucci loafers and maintaining a Park Avenue manicure, but they’ll be damned if they are ever cowards! “Waifu Wars”? It’ll be more like “Sneefu Sneers” when they’re done! (formerly “Chufu Churs”)

Sneed

maintains a strong build and the ever-so-powerful beer can. Better watch out – he will call you out if you buy fertilizer with a pH value too basic for your ground! Also the namesake of their store.

Chuck

prefers to smonk the pipe and reminisce about the days he used to run the store with the help of eighteen cowboys. Considering their Good Christian Values, maybe it’s better with Sneed running it, though.

RETURNING VETERAN: ROWLEY

ZOO-WEE-MAMA! ROWLEY’S BACK!

Image result for Diary of a wimpy kid rowley After loosing to his best friends mother, Rowley found it hard to look his friend in the eye. For the past few years he had grown some sort of hate for his friends mother, “how could she have won?” he thought to himself. He came to a horrible realization, she won because was a woman. Rowley deeply angered by this post started to post on the 4chan board /r9k/, there he became an Incel. For years Rowley wanted his revenge hating on Susan believing she was the devil incarnate, now with a second chance he can finally show the world that he is truly worth something… or not.

NEW CHARACTER: JORGEN VON STRANGLE

JORGEN ABANDONS DA RULES!

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Fairy Land has been peaceful, not even a villain in sight. He used to hate the pink hat kid before he grew up to be a normal person and not real. Jorgen reminisces the old days from time to time. Back in the war he was the baddest mother fucker who ever lived, now all he does is enforce “Da Rules” a job he never really wanted. Now upon hearing of a new challenge he pondered to himself, could he finally go back to the days of the war? Without a second thought he headed straight to the Waifu Wars to relieve the moments he missed so much.

RETURNING VETERAN: GRILLMAN

GRILLMAN FRIES UP A FIGHT!

Grillman didn’t take his loss personally after he returned home he mowed his lawn. All was good until the second war happened, his garden ruined, his house ruined and worst of all, his grill ruined. Now it’s personal. For the first time, he felt something burning inside of him, was it the grill inside or was it a deep hatred for those that fight over pointless gibberish? Now he returns to get his revenge on those that ruined his hobby.

Grillman never wanted to participate in the war, he just wanted to grill for god’s sake.