RETURNING VETERAN: CADENCE

CADENCE STARTS THE PARTY!

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In Club Penguin Island, it’s Cadence who makes the lives of the Penguis there a party! Whether it’s about the season, a sponsorship (mostly by Disney) or simply a tradition, at any given day there’s always something worth partying about! So buckle up kids, cause DJ K-Dance returns to the “Waifu Wars”! So who cares if she lost once? Not Cadence herself, that’s for sure. She’s more concerned with showing off her moves so mesmerizing you’d think a robot did them! Be sure to tune in, buy lots of her merchandise and look forward to the next Premium Party “Waifu Wars” coming to Club Penguin!

…What do you mean, it shut down two years ago? We still got Club Penguin Island, right? Right?

RETURNING VETERAN: TYLER1

TYLER1 STREAMS THE COMPETITION!

Tyler1 is the most famous streamer of all he was most known for League of Legends until he realized that he wasn’t an ASSFAGGOT. Tyler1 has made many streams in his career but his last stream, however, would change him. Tyler was streaming The Purple Republic Final Drill, the most popular RPG ever made by mankind. It wouldn’t be until he was the first and only person to complete the first chapter, that he was sucked Video Game directly taking digital form. He found himself stranded in the Waifu War yet again, realizing his only way out would be to use his strength and whatever is left of his intelligence.

RETURNING VETERAN: CORY BAXTER

CORY IS IN THE HOUSE ONCE AGAIN!

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Life hasn’t been so easy for Cory Baxter lately. First, he loses the Waifu War, then his father loses his job due to presidents switching, forcing the Baxters to move back to San Fran’. Away from Meena, and the others… So when a letter came in, asking him to return to the Waifu Wars, Cory was hesitant. But then he saw who was already confirmed in participating and his heart skipped a beat. Dude, he loved his songs! If he got a chance to meet someone like him (and get money while doing it), well you know how he do. And who knows, just maybe it might get his dad’s job back… somehow. He hopes this competition airs on Fox News. Then the current President might notice and he’d be back with Meena (even if they’re just friends).

RETURNING VETERAN: ROWLEY

ZOO-WEE-MAMA! ROWLEY’S BACK!

Image result for Diary of a wimpy kid rowley After loosing to his best friends mother, Rowley found it hard to look his friend in the eye. For the past few years he had grown some sort of hate for his friends mother, “how could she have won?” he thought to himself. He came to a horrible realization, she won because was a woman. Rowley deeply angered by this post started to post on the 4chan board /r9k/, there he became an Incel. For years Rowley wanted his revenge hating on Susan believing she was the devil incarnate, now with a second chance he can finally show the world that he is truly worth something… or not.

RETURNING VETERAN: GRILLMAN

GRILLMAN FRIES UP A FIGHT!

Grillman didn’t take his loss personally after he returned home he mowed his lawn. All was good until the second war happened, his garden ruined, his house ruined and worst of all, his grill ruined. Now it’s personal. For the first time, he felt something burning inside of him, was it the grill inside or was it a deep hatred for those that fight over pointless gibberish? Now he returns to get his revenge on those that ruined his hobby.

Grillman never wanted to participate in the war, he just wanted to grill for god’s sake.

RETURNING VETERAN: THE LAST GUEST

THE LAST GUEST FINISHES THE FIGHT!

After his loss with Segata Sanshiro, Guest 1337 was put into the Roblox Hospital and has made a recovery that took longer than expected. Turns out nobody is trained to be a doctor in Robloxia. After he was out of the hospital he swore to never take on another mission ever again and finally settle down with his wife Daisy. All was peaceful until he watched the news, what he saw changed his perspective on Robloxia forever. A Purple Cat was destroying everything he worked hard to protect, not even the people themselves were safe from that threat. He couldn’t sit there and watch him cause chaos, somebody had to stop him and 1337 knew it had to be him. He kissed his wife goodbye and headed to the only place logical place they would go, The Waifu Wars.

He had to stop them no matter what it cost.

RETURNING VETERAN: GOOMEX

GOOMEX RETURNS WITH VENGEANCE

After loosing to anime in the last tournament he thought he wouldn’t have been able to return to the war, not after such a shameful loss. Afterwards, Goomex has been on a journey of self-discovery. He found out a lot about himself and how much he really doesn’t like minorities so nothing about him changed. Goomex does not like losing, especially to an “ugly anime bitch” as he puts it. After she lost nobody knows where she went, nobody has actually seen her in a while.

She was just the first, however.